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How To Change Conditional Happiness

This soul talk is going to talk about conditional happiness and how to change it. So many times we punt our happiness forward in our lives instead of making it a point of finding happiness right where we are.

For the soul craft, I will show you my Love Grows Here card.

Love grows here card using the rain boot planter set from Sizzix.
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Soul Talk

Conditional Happiness vs Happiness

You want to be happy, but are you really happy? There are no guarantees in life. We can one day be having the best day and everything is going our way, and then next day, for a lack of a better word, crap. Of course we don’t want it this way. But life happens.

When life is hard, it’s hard to find happiness and we look to the future.

When this is over, I’ll be happy.

If I lose this weight, I’ll be happy.

Marriage and kids will really make me happy.

And so on.

But what if you strive to make today the day you’ll be happy. What if today while you are working toward that goal, you decide no matter if I get to the goal or not, I’ll still be happy?

Wouldn’t that make life better?

We Are The Ones In Charge

It doesn’t seem like we have total control. After all our days often depend on what others want and do. We take our grandchild or child into a store and they throw a temper tantrum in the middle of the store, that doesn’t make us happy. In fact it can be a little embarrassing. You want to duck your head while you see other customers staring at you and shaking their heads at the unruly child.

But you have to remember that they aren’t living your life. They don’t have a say in the way you handle the child’s temper tantrum. And who’s to say that they can handle it any better? Who are they to judge?

Yet they will. I think it’s in our nature to put our judgments onto others. It doesn’t make it right but our minds tend to go there. They’re going to judge, get over it. Kind of harsh but it’s true. Put what they think out of your head. Pick the child up and move on while not betting yourself up about it.

Don’t go to the when my child is older, it’ll be easier and I’ll be happier. Because you know what? When that time comes, there will be something else stealing your happiness.

Conditional happiness can be changed so we can live in the moment. Use the nine things I list on my blog to make it work for you.
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When my children were younger I played the; when they grow up I’ll be happier game. You know what that brought me? It brought me a depressed teenager that fought for that happiness every day for years. I can’t say I wasn’t happy when my children were younger because I loved being their mom, but I wish I would have enjoyed it a bit more. Because the thought of one of my children not wanting to be on this earth anymore was a lot harder to get through than when they were younger.

Thankfully my child survived and is a healthy adult, by the way.

Hold Tight To Your Joy

Crap in life is going to come along and try and steal our joy. It’s inevitable. It is our job to fight and fight hard. Because living through the hard season, is the growing season. We are here to grow. We aren’t here to sit around and complain and wish our lives away. Don’t punt your happiness forward.

Living through the hard seasons, are the growing seasons. Click To Tweet

It’ll be hard. For sure. Somedays it’ll be downright impossible. But don’t wallow in the misery. Seek out enjoyment even if it’s in a cup of coffee and a good book. Sounds so simple and it can be, but it’ll take practice.

And don’t apologize for feeling the merriment even if others think you shouldn’t.

There is no reason why you can’t find happiness before you lose the last ten pounds. Or before you get out of debt.

Ways To Get You Out Of A Funk

If you are finding yourself just down and you can’t locate that glee you crave, try these few suggestions that help me:

  1. Look for a good funny movie or TV show. The show Friends always tends to do it for me every time. Watching someone else silliness is a good way to make you see past your drama. Laughter has been and still is the best medicine.
  2. Search out someone to vent to that will understand that letting you wallow in it isn’t the right answer. Someone that will help you to see the best in the situation and will lead you into a better direction.
  3. Read a good book. Curling up on the couch and sinking your teeth into a good book can help you to take your mind off of your issue. It’ll put some space between it.
  4. Start a project. Preferably one close to the goal you are trying to reach. This will help you to feel like you aren’t waiting on anything to happen to be happy, but you’re actively working toward it.
  5. Write what you are grateful for. A list of gratitude will rev up your happiness meter at that very moment and you’ll see you don’t have to wait to be happy.
  6. Sing. You don’t have to have an amazing voice to sing. Turn up the music and blast out the tune with all you have in you. It will release the pent up feelings of feeling sorry for yourself and give you lots of oxygen to get you going. And boost your spirits.
  7. Dance. Especially if you’re alone. Get moving. In fact singing and dancing should go hand and hand. Put on a catchy tune and let it rip.
  8. Make a plan. Plan out ahead of ways to reach the place that you think you will be the happiest. Brainstorm it out to jump start your joy.
  9. Enjoy the process. I’ve heard this several times. You have to put more enjoyment in the process than the actual goal. Every day that you put into enjoying the process will give you endless satisfaction.

You don’t have to have anything to be happy. Life is meant to strive for the things we want. To enjoy the journey we’re on. There should never be conditions on your happiness. Who wants to live for conditional happiness anyways? I don’t. Wouldn’t you rather work toward something and enjoy it instead of getting to the end of your life and realized your life was wasted on a condition?

My hope for you is that you try one of the nine suggestions, or all, and make a commitment to live the best life now because we only get one.

Other blog posts that may help you:

Soul Craft

Love Grows Here Card

This post contains affiliate links that if purchased from will earn me a small commission.

This card was made with the rain boot planter set from Sizzix. What a fun card to make.
Love Grows Here Card

Tools Used:

The card was a another fun one to make. It is a lot of fussy work but well worth it.

Drop a comment below if you have questions on the card and tell me how you use conditional happiness in your life.

1 comment on…“How To Change Conditional Happiness”

  1. Pingback: Celebrate The Rainbow Card - Sue McConnell

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