Where is my rich, dream life you ask? Here you are close to retirement and as you look back, you see all the things you passed up. You see a short future ahead and you feel like you blew it.
Well, my friend you haven’t. And we have all been there in some capacity.
You may have even tried to step into the future you wanted. You’ve taken courses and you’ve pictured yourself not only surviving there but killing it.
That’s what I did. I always wanted to write. Even as a little girl. But I was too afraid to let anyone in on that fact. My parents were blue-collar workers. They didn’t support it.
They’d tell me that there was no way for me to make a living at it. I should marry a preacher and help in the church.
And there is nothing wrong with that except it didn’t fit me. So I pushed my desire to write deep down inside of me. It didn’t resurface until I was married.
Still, I had kids to raise and that was my focus. I didn’t need my rich, dream life.
Until it wasn’t. My kids grew self-sufficient and then I didn’t have anything to focus on.
So I wrote the book. I even got published. And five more after that.
I should be on cloud nine right?
But you want to know the strangest part?
I didn’t feel like I deserved it. Other writers told storied about getting rejections after rejections. They earned their books. I didn’t. Or so I thought.
I did get rejected once. Yep just once. From Harlequin and then I got published by a small publisher almost immediately after that.
It felt like it came too easy and I was actually ashamed I didn’t have to go through that journey. So what did I do?
I self-sabotaged my future as a writer. Because I never gave the books a chance. Or me. I didn’t think they were good enough. So I left them dead in the water.
Is this what you’re going through?
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Give Your Dream Life
Are you letting your dreams turn to dust? Do you believe you arent deserving?
Because we all do.
Is your rich, dream life bubbling to the surface even though you keep pushing it down?
My dream of being a writer comes to the surface all the time. I try again, I get that yucky feeling of I’m not deserving and I push it back down. And I suffer.
I get angry and irritable and have self-loathing.
But I decided not this time. I’m going to write because putting words to paper is my gift. And it probably does suck a bit. But I never gave it time to grow and bloom. I never gave myself a chance to get better at it.
Have you’ve given your dream a chance?
Here are a few things that I’ve tried that might help you.
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Sit In It A Bit
Now you’ve probably been doing this for a while. But this time as you sit in it, imagine what it’ll feel like when you accomplished the dream. Picture what joy it’ll bring to you. Not others in your life. You.
So many times women will let other people around them tell them what they should do. And you do it. Because you want to make others happy. Your rich, dream life isn’t as important.
But you hear this all the time now. Put on that oxygen mask first. You can’t help anyone until you feel joy in your heart.
If you aren’t doing what your heart wants to do, it’ll let you know. Your heart wants what it wants. It’s a feeling inside that just won’t be silenced. And it’ll find ways to let you know what you should be doing.
Be Scared But Do It Anyways
This is where it gets hard. Where you’ll want it but other things will get in the way. Your brain doesn’t want to be scared. It wants to keep you safe. And scary is it a bad place to be.
You have to get comfortable with the scary. And it’s hard. You’re going to feel like your going to die. Seriously, I’m not kidding.
Or is that just me?
Stop Over Analyzing It
Even as I write this to help you, I feel like your going to judge me. Like I’ll get hate mail that will make me feel like crap.
But I feel a strong calling to support other women who are meant for more and are struggling. If I keep quiet and you need to hear this, then I’m doing a disservice to you and to myself.
You will have a tendency to put a lot of buts into your thoughts.
But if it doesn’t turn out, I’ll look foolish. Or I’ll prove them right. If I fail then I’ll never live it down.
It’s not anyone’s business how or what you do with this dream. And yeah you may fail. It’s the failure that will get you there.
Know That You Deserve This Rich Deam Life
Because I was so embarrassed by the attention, I destroyed my dream of being a fiction writer. I didn’t sell many books. But all my coworkers, family, and friends knew and I hated the spotlight on my failure.
Sometimes you have to let that attention, even if you didn’t hit your mark, push you in the other direction. In fact especially if you didn’t hit that mark. Because that is how you learn.
I didn’t let myself learn. I now know that 6 books are nothing. 50 books or 100 are something to gain momentum and get noticed. Being an author is all about getting noticed and I didn’t like it because it scared me.
So you have to know with certainty that you deserve this. Say affirmations every day. Write down a goal list as if it’s already happened. Imagine it to be like it’s here.
Make it vivid. The more vivid you can get in your imagination the better your brain will accept it. And when you get there, the less scary it’ll be.
The more specific you are with your goals, the more you’ll feel worthy of it.
Success is hard work no matter what you are trying to achieve. But it’s even harder to look your maker in the eye and know you messed up. You didn’t make your life matter.
I hope this article has helped you and given you the support that you need. Let me know how else I can help you.