Are you struggling with wanting to write, but you can’t find the pockets of time to do so? Maybe you’re torn between your desire to write and your family’s needs. You’re experiencing writer’s guilt and your writer’s routine is suffering.
It’s hard to fit in the time for a solid block of writing, but it’s the only way to get those words out. To put your family first is an excuse. An excuse that if you let it will keep you from your dream.
I did the same thing by making sure my husband and kids have what they needed. Our internet is not the fastest, so when the kids played their games, the internet would spin. Finally, I had to tell them that I had a book due and I had to write. It wasn’t going to complete it by itself.
When you have nonwriters around you, it’ll be hard for them to understand why you need to write when you do, especially if they want something.
Be gentle but firm. Set up a time that your creative juices are pulsing and write. Use the time wisely too.
Give Your Family Notice
Once you know of the time that works for you, schedule it in. Tell your family that you’re going to write and show them you mean it. If you say it and keep missing your writing time, why would they believe that you’re serious?
At first, you’ll have to convince them that this is important to you. Eventually, it’ll become clear that you mean business, and your time will be respected.
Silence The Guilt In Your Writer’s Routine
Until your family starts to believe in you, you’ll feel the guilt. There is no stepping around it until you deal with it. Sounds silly, but tell yourself that you are going to do this. Keep it up until you believe it.
You can’t make your family believe until you do.
Once you have your power hours of writing and you’re doing it religiously, there will always be other distractions that will cut into your time.
Distractions That Will Cause Your Writer’s Routine To Stumble
Your family won’t be the only thing keeping you from your writing. Technology will also increase your struggle. Shut down all the distractions that will hold you back.
I, for one, have to have some background noise to write. It usually falls in the form of YouTube TV. For others, I have heard that music will help them. However, for me, that would only cause me to want to sing along. But try it and if it works for you go for it.
Your mindset will damage your success, too, in fact, more significant than the rest of the distractions. And it goes hand and hand in the family guilt.
If you let the story run in your head that you have to do everything in the home yourself, you’ll always get pulled away.
Take a bit of time to meditate and calm your mind first. It has helped me cancel out the stories that run in my head. You know the ones that swear you have no business writing? We all have them to some degree. By including meditation in your writer’s routine you’ll get help with that.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. Make sure you have quiet in the room. Then set the alarm for ten minutes and close your eyes. After a few deep cleansing breaths, relax your body. Find a sound to concentrate on in the room—any mundane sound. As your mind wanders, notice the thought and then let it gently slip away. Sometimes you can find some useful little nuggets that you can work on in the future.
Get Into The Writing Mode Faster For Your Writer’s Routine
To give yourself a jump up on your writing, you can brainstorm and get into the story beforehand. You can even do this while you are with your family. Grab your notebook and brainstorm. Try and see the scene before you even sit down to type. Jot down key components of the scene you are about to write.
If you are still in the outline stages, you can also do this on paper sitting with your family.
Get Your Family Involved
A fun way to keep your family involved is to watch a movie together or a favorite TV show. Then dissect it. What pulled you into the story? Or what did you not like about it? Is there something you could use in your current novel or a future story?
Some people say watching TV or movies is a waste of time, but if you use it for your future storytelling, it’s homework. What other jobs give you a project to watch movies? This idea came from The Story Studio podcast. These guys always watch TV or movies.
You can also read a book with your family. It’s the one past time that your kids should see you do. Read in your genre and outside of your genre. Again pick it apart and see what you liked and what didn’t work for you. What would you have done differently? Or even if it didn’t work for you, did it work for other readers? Why did it work for them? Research is never wrong as long as you don’t use it as a substitute for writing.
It’s a real thing. Guilt can cripple your writer’s routine and make you think that you don’t deserve this time to write. The dream you have is for someone else. Or you’ll do it after you don’t have kids. There will always be something standing in your way. Success takes time and failures. And for a writer, it can only be a success if you write and keep writing.
I know because I pounded out six books and then let it go by the wayside. Why? Because I didn’t think that I deserved it. Even now, with my husband recovering from his illness, I struggle with feeling like my dream doesn’t matter. But it does. Everyone needs to fight for their desires and to pursue them.
We all deserve to have what we want.
What is stopping you from writing? Drop a comment below. Then like and subscribe to my email list for more tips and tricks of a writer.
Journal Prompt: Use this prompt to journal and help you get past the writer’s guilt:
If I was destined for success no matter what, I would do……